Let’s talk about marriage a little bit.
Talk about our culture’s general view on marriage… Would you say we Americans have a high view, or a low view of marriage? Why? What examples do you see?
Are Christians’ attitudes about divorce different from the rest? Why, or why not?
In 1960, the United States adopted no fault divorce, which allowed most couples to get a divorce without having to prove fault. Since then, the number of divorces in America has tripled. A century ago, less than 7% of married couples divorced. This tells us that our culture’s attitude about marriage and divorce has dramatically shifted.
Believe it or not, Jesus’ day saw it’s own big turmoil about marriage. There was a HUGE ongoing debate about divorce and remarriage among the Jewish religious leaders. Some rabbis said that a man may not divorce his wife unless she was sexually immoral. Others said that a man may divorce his wife if she did not properly cook a meal for him, or if he found a prettier woman! It was in this context that Jesus was questioned…
Then Jesus left Capernaum and went down to the region of Judea and into the area east of the Jordan River. Once again crowds gathered around him, and as usual he was teaching them.
Mark 10:1-9 (NLT)
2 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?”
3 Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?”
4 “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”
5 But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts.6 But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation.7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife,8 and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one,9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
What do you think motivated the Pharisees to ask Jesus about divorce?
How was Moses’ allowance (see Deuteronomy 24, below) for divorce being misued by the Jewish people in Jesus’ day?
“Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house. 2 When she leaves his house, she is free to marry another man. 3 But if the second husband also turns against her, writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away, or if he dies, 4 the first husband may not marry her again, for she has been defiled. That would be detestable to the Lord. You must not bring guilt upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as a special possession.
Deuteronomy 24:1–4 (NLT)
What reason does Jesus cite for the current practice of giving a woman a “certificate of divorce” (Mark 10:5, above)?
Weren’t the Pharisees more trying to validate their own opinion, rather than learning what the Master had to say? (How is that like us??)
Jesus responds by telling them divorce wasn’t allowed, but a command was given to restrain the corruption of divorce. It was given because of the hardness of their heart. Allowing divorce and establishing a command to limit it are two very different things. The Pharisees’ question shows their limited perspective.
Jesus’s response was shockingly different than his culture’s perspective. It is shockingly different than our perspective! What does he say?
Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again. 11 He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”
Mark 10:10-12 (NLT)
Wait. What? Adultery?
Why is Jesus so extreme about this? Doesn’t he know what “remarriage” is? Why is his response so shockingly counter-cultural?
Marriage, in the eyes of God, is not a contract that people can just break. It is a covenant that only HE can release. What is the difference between a covenant and a contract?
What does it mean to “become one flesh?” Why is it important that we view marriage as a one-flesh union, and how might it strengthen our marriages?
How does marriage mirror the gospel, and what light does this shine on divorce?
As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.
Ephesians 5:31-32 (NLT)
How can you and I pursue Christ in such a way that it is evident in all areas of our lives, including our marriages?
If you have been through a divorce, how have you seen God redeem that pain of that experience for His glory?
What does it look like to trust Jesus with your marriage?