In this episode, I answer the “most difficult question” that I get from spouses in troubled marriages. This question is so tough, that I really have a hard time answering them with the whole truth. It feels harsh to tell this truth to people a lot of times. Today, for the first time, I tell the entire truth on this issue.
Subscribe in iTunes. Lifegroup Discussion Questions below.
This week’s lifegroup discussion questions are guest-posted by Susan Farnham. If you are the discussion leader, have your group open to this page on their mobile devices and read along together. Feel free to pick the questions most appropriate to your group. Prior to your discussion, let’s talk about “June Off.”
June Off
Our Serve Summer signups have gone very well in two out of three serving areas. Why do you think we are having such difficulty getting our regular, weekly children’s volunteers covered so they can have a little time off? What is the difficulty here? As of Sunday, we are still at just under 40% response on this important need. Lifegroup leaders, email me from your mobile device DURING this discussion tonight and let me know what your group thinks. Our very important volunteers help us all year long.. They need our help in July. How can we serve them? I will be looking for your email.
Questions Series coming up
Have you submitted your questions yet? Talk about different questions with your group, and submit yours via email to me, or hit this online form to submit your question anonymously. We’ve received several good ones so far!
Discussion Questions
Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be – Abraham Lincoln
What is the difference between ‘happiness’ and ‘joy’?
What do you believe to have been our cultures role in the reduction of marriage from a binding covenant to love, in any and all circumstances down to a signed, notarized contract listing all tangible assets.
As Steve so bluntly put it, we choose our spouse. God does not force us to walk down the aisle. With that choice comes the personal responsibility for that choice and its consequences.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. -1 Corinthians 13:11
Why do you think our culture seeks the avoidance of consequences…are we trying to avoid suffering…..hoping that with the stroke of a pen on a piece of paper we can move on to our ‘happy place’?
On the night of his betrayal and arrest, Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane…
He took Peter, James, and John with him, and he became deeply troubled and distressed. 34 He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” 35 He went on a little farther and fell to the ground. He prayed that, if it were possible, the awful hour awaiting him might pass him by. 36 “Abba, Father,”* he cried out, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” -Mark 14:33-36
How do you think Jesus felt about what was about to happen to him? Do you think He felt that he deserved it? What, in fact, did he deserve? Do you think he was fully aware of what was about to happen to him? Do you think that obedience was an easy decision for Jesus to make? What did it cost him?
See how this hits you… Scripture is clear that if we are to join Jesus in glory we must also join Him in His suffering.
Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. 24 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. -Luke 9:23-24
But God was fulfilling what all the prophets had foretold about the Messiah—that he must suffer these things. -Acts 3:18
Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 4 Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them. -2 Timothy 2:3
Above all, you must live as citizens of heaven, conducting yourselves in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ. Then, whether I come and see you again or only hear about you, I will know that you are standing together with one spirit and one purpose, fighting together for the faith, which is the Good News. 28 Don’t be intimidated in any way by your enemies. This will be a sign to them that they are going to be destroyed, but that you are going to be saved, even by God himself. 29 For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him. 30 We are in this struggle together. -Phillippians 1:27-30
What is suffering within the context of a Christian Marriage? Can you give examples? How is this sharing in the suffering of Christ?
As believers, how are we to respond to suffering within a marriage?
For God is pleased with you when you do what you know is right and patiently endure unfair treatment. 20 Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you. 21 For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered* for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. 22 He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone. 23 He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. 24 He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed. -1Peter 2:19-24
Your promise revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles. -Psalm 119:50
Choosing Wisely
Steve talked about the three types of choices we make in a spouse. Of course, these are very general. If you were drawing the picture, would you draw different scenarios? Are there other types of marriage choices?
Why was the “disaster” model a disaster? What do the two different trajectories do in a marriage?
How important is it that we choose wisely who we marry? What all goes into that choice? How can we help our kids prepare to choose well? What happens if we don’t help them?