How long have you been married? Do you have any funny wedding day stories?
How did your childhood situation (parents, their marriage, etc.) affect your view of marriage?
Are there any marriages you look up to or admire? What is it about those marriages that makes them admirable?
On Sunday, I said that “real marriage mirrors the gospel.” This means that marriage isn’t simply for our personal happiness, but for our holiness… What does that mean for you?
God designed this amazing relationship to help us see him, and to help us seek him. Sometimes, though, relationships have the power to push us away from Him. Here is what Paul says about that:
Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. 2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:1-11 NLT
3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.
5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.
8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.
10 But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.
What was Paul’s perspective on marriage and singleness?
What do you see as the main differences between a Christian view of marriage and a non-Christian view of marriage?
Why do you think God calls us to put our spouse’s needs above our own? How does doing so change our own perspective?
What relational bad decisions does Paul allude to in 1 Corinthians 7:1-11? How do these types of decisions hinder a person’s pursuit of holiness?
Some of those bad decisions that Paul drew attention to include withholding sex from a spouse (verse 5), sexual promiscuity (verses 8-9), and divorce (verse 11). Spouses have a mutual obligation to place their spouse’s needs ahead of their own. By encouraging both the husband and the wife to fulfill their marital duties, Paul placed the emphasis on serving one’s partner and placing his/her needs first, rather than relying on him/her to make you happy. Whether married or not, this type of sacrificial service should be the way we approach all our relationships, not just romantic ones. When we put others first, we are challenged to become more godly people who love others the way Christ loves us.
Focusing on the pursuit of holiness, rather than relational happiness, is the key to a successful marriage and relationship.
Let’s read the next few verses…
Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. 14 For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. 15 (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.) 16 Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?
1 Corinthians 7:12-16 NLT
All marriages face challenges, and those involving Christians with non-Christians have additional challenges; but working through the challenges and remaining faithful to Christ honors God and demonstrates the gospel.
In what ways is an unbelieving spouse “made holy” because of his or her marriage to a Christian?
What challenges does a Christian married to an unbeliever face when pursuing personal holiness?
In your own words, how would you explain the main goal of a Christian marriage?
What happens in a marriage when our hearts are set on our own happiness rather than on honoring God and personal holiness?
In what areas of your marriage would you say you are more focused on your own happiness than you are on holiness? What needs to change?
What counsel would you give a Christian friend who is married to a non-Christian?