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My Loving Response
On Sunday, we talked about the defining characteristic of a believer. What was that?
1 John 4:7–8 (NLT)
Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
Now, I realize that this is a life group discussion… In other words, it is sorta like preaching to the choir here. You guys understand this, right? Here you are, gathered together in a living room, talking about what God is doing in your life. You gather and you practice leaning in.
Romans 12:9–13 (NLT)
Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
Is this Romans passage a good description of who we are as a life group? Why or why not?
What did you think of the question: “When the world looks at the church, do they see a love that can only be explained by the supernatural work of God?”
As a group, you might want to take a minute to unpack what that might actually look like. Maybe compare that question to the above Romans passage. Just talk about that for a few minutes. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
What about when someone in the group blows it? I mean, really blows it. They go kinda off the deep end. They make some huge mistakes. In a really big way they lie, or they cheat, or they break hearts or break trust, or are just broken in general? What do we do about it?
How did Jesus deal with just such a situation:
John 8:1–11 (NLT)
Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.
4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger.
7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman.
10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
“No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
2000 years later, we still haven’t quite figured this out yet, have we? In this story, which character is the church often more like? Jesus, or the Pharisees?
Why is that?
Does Jesus’ response lead us to giving sin a pass in our lives, and in our church? Is that the “loving” thing to do? How?
I feel like we really twist Jesus’ words in Matthew 7:1, when he says “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.” When taken out of contest, it feels like Jesus is just telling us to be stupid about people and circumstances around us, doesn’t it? But, doesn’t Jesus also tell us to be “as shrewd as snakes?” (Matthew 10:16) Doesn’t scripture repeatedly tell us to have our eyes open to who people around us really are?
Proverbs 20:11 (NLT)
Even children are known by the way they act,
whether their conduct is pure, and whether it is right.
James 3:11–12 (NLT)
Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.
Aren’t we supposed to use good judgement when dealing with ourselves and with others? In fact, doesn’t Jesus himself make a judgment about what is in people’s hearts:
John 2:23–25 (NLT)
Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him. But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew all about people. No one needed to tell him about human nature, for he knew what was in each person’s heart.
Why don’t we have a look at what Jesus is really saying about judging:
Matthew 7:1–5 (NLT)
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.
So, is Jesus really saying here? Look how he finishes the thought in the very next verse…
Matthew 7:6 (NLT)
“Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.
So, what is the answer?
Jesus never intends for us to be stupid, or to pretend that everything is ‘okay’ when it isn’t. Jesus wants us to deal lovingly with all people around us always.
What does that look like?
Why are we so bad at it?
(your life group leader has been given some direction on leading this part of the discussion)
What is the motivation for church discipline? What is the desired outcome?
What is MY response to the sin of my fellow believer?
How does that response show that I am a child of God?