Our staff is getting really excited about the upcoming “Super Tailgate Sunday” coming up on March 14! Does your group have your plan together yet? Bring your lawn chairs!
It seems that celebrity marriages all too often end in disaster. I don’t really keep up with that a lot, but maybe you know of one or two that have ended publicly? What are the reasons these seem to end so quickly and ugly?
For the past two decades, 50% of all marriages in the United States have ended in divorce. What do you think that says about our current view of divorce and marriage?
Are most Christians’ attitudes about divorce different from that of the surrounding culture? Why or why not?
Did you know that just one century ago, less than 7% of marriages ended in divorce? What changed?
In 1960, the US adopted the “no fault divorce,” which allowed couples to end their marriage without having to prove fault. Since then, the number of divorces in America has more than tripled.
Do you think this made people worse? Did it make marriage worse? OR, did it reveal something about us?
Jesus dealt with our issues directly.
HAVE A VOLUNTEER READ MARK 10:1-5.
Then Jesus left Capernaum and went down to the region of Judea and into the area east of the Jordan River. Once again crowds gathered around him, and as usual he was teaching them.
Mark 10:1-5 NLT
Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?”
Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?”
“Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”
But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts.
Jesus was in Israel during a time of cultural shift. Divorce and remarriage among the Jewish people was a huge debate. The left and the right both had their extremes, just like today… Some rabbis said that a man may not divorce his wife unless she was sexually immoral. Others said that a man may divorce his wife if she did not properly cook a meal for him or if he found a younger, prettier woman. And, of course, the culture in general not only devalued marriage but objectified women. Sound familiar?
SO, the Pharisees wanted to see which side Jesus took on the issue. Jesus pointed back to Moses, who said this:
“Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house. When she leaves his house, she is free to marry another man. But if the second husband also turns against her, writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away, or if he dies, the first husband may not marry her again, for she has been defiled. That would be detestable to the LORD. You must not bring guilt upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as a special possession.
-Moses, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 NLT
How were the Pharisees misusing Moses’ words by Jesus’ day?
Jesus’ reply was that Moses gave this commandment as a concession… To what?
So, what does Jesus’ comment say about this commandment?
In short, Jesus is making it clear that Moses’ law was a limitation on divorce and remarriage. God is clearly against divorce, but Moses made a concession, limiting the already rampant practice of divorce. Giving permission and placing a limitation are two very different things.
The Pharisees weren’t really asking Jesus what God said about divorce. They weren’t asking him to explain God’s Law… They were asking Jesus to weigh in on their own opinion about what God said. They were more curious about Jesus’ perspective on their option rather than bringing their lives under God’s perspective.
I think this is profound. How is that like us today?
But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
Mark 10:6-12 NLT
Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again. He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”
Jesus here takes a very hard stance against divorce. Doing this, he connects right back to Genesis 1:27, to the creation of the man and the woman, and God’s design for marriage. What does that say about Jesus’ view of marriage?
Marriage, in the eyes of God, is not a contract that people can break. It is a covenant that only He can break. What is the difference between a covenant and a contract?
What does it mean to “become one flesh”? Why is it important that we view marriage as a one flesh union? How might this view strengthen marriage?
In a contract, a buyer makes a promise to a seller that he will pay a certain amount for goods or services. In response, the seller promises to provide those goods or services. A covenant, however, is not made merely between two people but also before God. Jesus could not be clearer; God is the one who joins two people together in marriage. Women and men should not feel free to separate what God has joined together at their leisure.
How does marriage reflect the gospel, and what light does this shine on divorce?
How do you become someone who is easy to be married to? How could you pursue Christ in such a way that it is evident in all areas of your life, including your marriage?
I will be doing this new marriage series for the next four weeks, hoping to strengthen marriages in our church and our community. If you are married, how could you and your spouse invest in someone else’s marriage?
If you have been through a divorce, how have you seen God redeem that pain of that experience for His glory?
Pray and thank God for the good gift of marriage. Thank Him for allowing marriage to be a display of Christ and His love for the church. Pray for those who are struggling with the pain of a divorce and ask that God would protect your marriage and home from the trauma of a divorce. Confess your need for godly marriages and ask God to build marriages at our church.