Children and Parents

As a child, what was the biggest thing you ever did to disrespect or disobey your parents?

How big of an issue is lack of respect today between parents and children?

Why might it be difficult for us to honor Jesus as a child honors a parent, or serve Him as a servant serves a master?

Based on our past, our family upbringing, life circumstances, or even bad bosses at work, it can be difficult to serve and honor Christ the way He calls us to. Having the same attitude of submission that Jesus showed isn’t easy. In all of our relationships, ESPECIALLY our family relationships, Christ-followers are to show respect for Christ and for each other.

Last week, we talked about how God designed the family to represent his relationship with us. Even if we are not married or have children, God’s design for the family teaches us about how we relate to each other.

In the passage we’re studying, it all starts with this simple idea:

Ephesians 5:21 (NLT)
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

This is Paul’s introductory statement of how to be a Christian family. What does it look like for us to submit to each other…

as spouses?

as parents?

as children?

Why can this idea of submission stir up controversy?

I like what Paul says about this in his letter to the church at Philippi…

Philippians 2:3 (NLT)
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

Why is this hard for us?

Does Paul say that others are, in fact, better than me or you?

Submission doesn’t imply losing your sense of worth or self. It is a voluntary and loving choice to follow in a way that displays how Christians follow Jesus. Christians don’t submit because someone forces them to do so; they submit voluntarily. A wife isn’t forced to think of herself as her husband’s property. Kids shouldn’t see themselves as slaves to parents. Instead, we should realize that God has designed our family on purpose, and that we are partners together in discovering and demonstrating Christ.

Ephesians 6:1–4(NLT)
Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

How can children of all ages and family situations give their parents the respect God commands?

Jesus, John 15:9–10 (NLT)
“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.

What do we learn about submitting to our parents from Jesus’ example? What are specific situations that might make submitting to your parents more challenging?

When is it appropriate for parents to submit to their kids?

No Christian ever grows beyond the responsibility to show respect for his or her parents by honoring them. If children are to honor their parents, then parents have a reciprocal responsibility to be submissive to their needs in ways that will lead them to maturity. Growing up in a Christian home is to be a positive, encouraging experience for both parents and children.

How can I live this out with my family this week?